Realigning my North Star

It's fair to say that most of this school year I have questioned my effectiveness in the classroom. Many days I pull into my parking spot and wonder if it is time for me to move on to other districts or even other types of jobs. What makes it really difficult is that teaching is the only thing I've wanted to do my entire life. I've had notions to write novels or set up by own business on Etsy with my sewing. At one point (long before Pixar), I even wanted to be one of the people who colored in the cells for Disney animated films. In the end, I remind myself how teaching just comes so naturally and that for at least one student a year I do make a difference. Yet, the system has a way of beating me so far down I find it almost impossible to recover. And then something happens to help me refocus. This time it was a fortuitous encounter with Peter Reynolds.

Quick background on how this came about: I am a member of the USA Film Festival and receive invitations to numerous events. It was through this organization I was able to meet Dave Goelz (The Great Gonzo), saw a preview of The Help that included a Q & A with Tate Taylor and Octavia Spencer, and am able to screen films before their nationwide release. Every year they hold a Kids Festival that focuses on...well...children. This past weekend one of their events included a collection of films based on Peter Reynolds' books and a book signing following with the man himself. Of course I called immediately to reserve seats for my husband and son (I had other plans and couldn't go but refused to allow my 3-year-old to miss such an opportunity). Moments after I hung up the phone; the lovely, young lady working the festival called me back. She remembered I was a teacher and wondered if I would like to join the other ladies running the festival for dinner with Mr. Reynolds. What fool would say "no thank you?"

Saturday arrived and my son and husband had a blast at the event. William even received his first autographed book!

(Naturally, I am infinitely more excited about this than my son is for now. He was thrilled about his book and put it in the bedtime story rotation, but I have a feeling it will take on more meaning for him as he gets older.)

Dinner quickly approached and I had to remind myself NOT to turn into a 13-year-old fangirl when I finally met Peter Reynolds. Besides, I tried to convince myself, he would be sitting with all the board members who were joining us. I probably would introduce myself, get a picture, and that would be it. My nerves weren't buyin' it, so I ordered a Maracas margarita when we arrived at the restaurant (a decision I'm pretty sure I'm STILL recovering from). Then the craziest thing happened: the film festival ladies allowed me to sit DIRECTLY ACROSS FROM PETER REYNOLDS. I had no choice BUT to speak with him all evening! Talk about pressure. I would have to be clever while slightly intoxicated. (Fortunately, my loving husband is great under that kind of pressure and helped a lot with the conversation.)

Taking pride in my loquacity (a real word-I promise) makes it difficult for me to admit that I cannot properly explain how meeting Peter Reynolds impacted my outlook on the rest of this school year and my career. Everyone needs to get a hold of his books. The three that tend to trend together are: The Dot, Ish, and The North Star. Peter Reynolds is the very person you expect to be the author of these true treasures. He reminded me that I don't teach for kids to pass a test nor do I have to listen to those whose minds are too narrow to appreciate the potential in my students. Did I already know these things? Sure. Have I let them slip away a bit? Yes. Something about the encouragement from someone not tied up in the political gunk of education helped shake off the dust of apathy that can really skew my optimism. It also reminded me that my students aren't the only ones who depend on me. So many adults had teachers who refused to let a broken system dictate success, and I must remain one of those teachers. And as crazy as it sounds, Peter Reynolds' absolute faith that I do right by my students simply based on how I presented myself at dinner caused me to realize if I quit doing what I know is best for my students, and if I lowered my standards to appease the politicians, then I would lose my true self and the passion for what I do.

As if aiding in the realization of one of my New Year's resolutions (#3 I believe) wasn't enough, Peter Reynolds began following me on Twitter AND wants to keep in touch! He will return in March for Arts and Letters Live at the DMA, and I will be there.

Every Prom Needs a Little Duk Dong

There is an adorable teen film called Prom. It has most of what you expect: sort of nerds, cool kids, a bad boy, a superstar academic, love triangles, opposite attractions, etc. And every time it comes on cable I MUST watch it. My husband simply rolls his eyes and shakes his head at my inability to turn away from such a ridiculous film. It took me a while to figure out why it was the bug zapping light to my hopeless flying insect of a psyche. Then one day it hit me...

IT'S ALMOST A PERFECT JOHN HUGHES MOVIE!

Note that I said "almost." It teases by dipping its toe in that genre of cinematic gold. Take a peek at this cute promo that came out during the apparent countdown they had before the film's release.

Potential right? All the necessary characters are there and had I seen this before I saw the actual film a lot of plot holes would be non-existent.  The problem is that even though this film does its best to fulfill all necessary archetypes for a teen flick, it doesn't offer any realistic commentary of teenagers today. Nor does it offend me in a comical way while still managing to comment on some societal mindset.

The reason I have ALWAYS loved teen films of the 80s is because that is exactly what they did. Teenagers were teenagers. Partying. Bullying. Studying. Dating. Loving. Hating. Judging. And they managed to do all of this and still get in a few laughs. I mean, where would Sixteen Candles be without this guy:





How hilarious are these? I guess teenage boys are looking to score regardless of country of origin. Plus, the grandparents are proudly (and maybe cluelessly) exploiting Dong's academic trip to America. I love it! Prom really does try. There are so many nods to some of Hughes' greats such as a running scene through the high school, rendezvous in a parking lot, a lecherous/unfaithful boyfriend with the insecure girlfriend who needs to become her own person, even the bad boy falling for the good girl:

 

Unfortunately, nothing in the film measures up to this:



I so desperately want Prom to be Sixteen Candles or The Breakfast Club! The real problem is that Disney has its name all over the film so it has to stay clean and too sugary sweet to meet its true destiny of becoming a memorable movie that defines a generation. Perhaps that is why I watch Prom every time it comes on. Surely just once it will reach Hughes Greatness! Just once instead of this:
I'll get this:

11 pipers piping...

That's right, it is the 11th day of Christmas, and for the first time EVER I broke my own rule of taking down the tree and decorations before the Epiphany. I feel a little guilty because taking everything down Sunday would have taken the same amount of time as taking them down today, but I wanted to get it done quickly without the interruption of either of my children. Poor excuse for breaking tradition and something I truly believe in, but it is done so no more lamenting about it.

The reason I always wait until the Epiphany is because that is when the Christmas season actually ends. Even if someone is just celebrating the secular concept of Christmas, CHRISTmas came from a religious background so why not celebrate the entire season accordingly? Besides, everyone keeps whining about how depressing the day after Christmas is and how s/he doesn't want to take down decorations quite yet. If people just acknowledged Christmastide/Twelvetide, we could gradually say good-bye to the Christmas season until next year. Every day could just slightly take us out of Christmas into New Years and finally back on schedule.Then ending all the buildup wouldn't feel so jolting when the day actually comes and goes.

Think about how much cooler the season would be if we had 12 actual gifts to give on each day of Christmas? Or better yet, if we dedicated the 12 Days of Christmas to giving back in some way. The bottom line is I'm sick and tired of the complaining about Christmas having no meaning or being too commercial or ending too quickly. It really shouldn't stop on the 26th of December but rather continue on into the 6th of January. It might just matter more if we did it right.

Resolutions are for the birds...

but I'll make a few anyway.

Fortunately, I've been going to the gym since my doctor released me after having my baby last summer. My routine is established and desired weight is being lost/maintained. Therefore, I don't have to join a gym for $1 only to quit going by the middle of February (or sooner). Of course, my gym time will be irritatingly altered by all the folks who are adding gym time to their schedule for the next few weeks just until their dedication wanes and they cancel their memberships until January 2014. So no resolution to get into shape or exercise more.

Eating more healthily...um...I can only make this a resolution if having a bowl of Peanut Butter Crunch before going to bed is considered healthy eating.

As for money matters: I like to spend it and not save it. Yep that about sums it up.

Okay, so what does that leave me?

Well, I have decided to keep my house what I call "guest ready." This simply means that regardless of day or hour if someone were to stop by for any reason I would not be embarrassed by the state of my home. This will really be tested once I return to work because some evenings those few dishes in the sink seem insurmountable when compared to my exhaustion after working all day. However, I plan to make sure the beds are made everyday, keep the sink empty of dishes, and have my son put all his toys away before going to bed. Doing these three things will keep my house tidy enough between Merry Maid cleanings.

I desperately need to get back to my writing. It doesn't matter to me if people read it. Writing just makes me feel productive. My fingers assertively patting the keys while my brain filters through all my vocabulary and useless knowledge trying to find a way to organize my thoughts about, well, everything. My goal will be at least one post a week. On days I'm feeling particularly creative I might even write a couple of posts and schedule them ahead of time. There's also the matter of my book. Yes, I would LOVE to publish a book and yes, I've had numerous ideas and starts that never went anywhere. This is my year! I just need to decided how I want to pace myself to get it all done.

Finally, at work I really sort have been in a funk. I still believe that teaching is the only thing I ever want to do. Unfortunately, I teach public school in a state with a crap system that keeps becoming crappier. The minute my negativity begins to bleed into my work my students will know. I need to focus on at least three positives a day even if it requires me going through my Smile File to remember why I go in every day. I actually reread something from Marcus Aurelius' Meditations that I plan to really focus on:

"When, in the early morning, you are reluctant to get up, have this thought in mind: 'I rise to do a man's work. Am I still resentful as I go to do the task for which I was born and for the sake of which I was brought into the world? Was I made to warm myself under the blankets?' 'But this is more pleasant.' Were you born for pleasure, to feel things, and not do them?...You do not love yourself. If you did, you would certainly love your own nature and its purpose."

I know I'm meant to teach. I will just pray that I either find happiness again in my current position or find a job that allows me to use my skills to teach in some other capacity.

That should do it for 2013.