Feelings

This has been a very enjoyable weekend. My Saturday started bright and early at 7:30 A.M. My mom and I met a friend for breakfast and then made our way to the Farmer's Market. I found the most beautiful pink plants to use as party favors for my bridal shower. We purchased 36 of them and now my mother is keeping her fingers crossed that they will stay alive for the next month and beyond.

While we walked among the fruit and vegetable vendors, I began to have a daydream about my own household some day. I would come with my kids and get them nutritious things to eat. I would have people over for parties and make snacks and meals with fresh pasta and produce. I was thoroughly enjoying this vision when it occurred to me how life can really change a person. Not long ago my daydreams involved a red carpet, a fancy dress, an MTV awards show, and Orlando Bloom. Funny what my brain can concoct.

After our tour de foods we spent some time at our friend's apartment and we enjoyed fresh fruit smoothies. As delicious as they were, I must say I prefer the kind with ice cream or frozen yogurt in them.

Later Saturday night my fiance and I visited with some friends and I had blast. I absolutely adore the two families we spent time with. They are classy, kind, loving people with wonderful children and beautiful homes. I actually felt like I belonged even though my own family is a few years down the road. I cannot wait to be a great mother and to have people over to visit in my own cozy home.

Today was very uneventful. I went to church and then spent the day with my fiance. We watched a movie, I read a book, and we went grocery shopping. Nothing out of the ordinary, but I did find something that really bothered me:

An absence of consideration for people's feelings. I am a sensitive person by nature, and I have come a long way from my over sensitivity in childhood. There are just some people that insist on talking with rude, uncaring tones and words do hurt people! Some would say, "I'm just being honest" or "There's no reason to sugar coat," but there is very good reason to think about what is about to come out of your mouth. Not everyone responds to bluntness and many do perceive it as cruel. I do know people that prefer to be told things up front, honestly, no "beating around the bush." With those people that is how I talk to them, but I also know people who stop listening as soon as their feelings are hurt by the words that are said. These kinds of people, and I can be one of them, do need a kinder tone or at least an explanation for an abrupt or curt comment. When someone is too honest or harsh it just appears as if that person lacks any feeling at all. Quickly telling a person to "get over their issue" does not help the situation, but actually worsens it. What is so wrong about acknowledging a hurt or angry feeling and apologizing? Not apologizing for what is said, but how it was said. When you attack someone with bitter words it can make her feel like a nuisance, invisible, uncared for, or insignificant. So please, always think before speaking about the person that will be receiving the words darting out of the mouth. This is the reason why some people suck at verbal communication, because "you will always catch more flies with honey than vinegar."

No more soapbox, I have a book to finish.