The Immortality of a Sam's Club Membership

There is an episode of The Golden Girls where Sophia gets a Shopper's Warehouse Membership Card. Shopper's Warehouse being the equivalent to a Sam's Club or Costco. After making a ridiculous amount of purchases including a gross of toothbrushes, Sophia admits to her daughter (Dorothy) that she feels like buying all this stuff equates to an immortality of sorts. Surely, God won't take her before she uses everything up.

Unlike Sophia, I don't plan on serving a large amount of sardine* casserole with sort of an oatmeal cookie crust anytime soon; however, I better understand her grasping at longevity after my first solo experience at Sam's Club yesterday.

My parents had a Sam's Club Membership when I was a kid, so I had been inside one before. I'm not a complete newbie. This was my first visit as a grown up with my own card. My goal was to stock up on (relatively) healthy snacks for the kids for the summer. I also wanted to check out the produce and meat since people are always getting good deals at these warehouse stores.

I invite you to travel through my first visit to Sam's Club.

Let's start with the fact I was not carded upon entry. I thought that was a thing. I had my Sam's card and driver's license ready. How am I supposed to feel special with this membership if just anyone can walk in? Only slightly disappointing.

Right in front of me, as soon as I casually strolled in, were all the cool things one would need for an awesome summer. We needed pool floats, so it only made sense that I purchased this:

It's a pool bean bag chair! I can use it in water and on land!

Once this was gracefully stuffed into my cart, the real exploration began. The amount of food blew my mind. I don't remember there being so much of something in one container. For example, I have never been near this much ranch at once:

And sugar is really heavy when it comes in a large bag:

Seriously, the weight of that bag of sugar made everything else hard to carry when I was loading my car.

Just in case I was in a edible spread mood, they have a whole section devoted to such a thing:

They have things I didn't even think I would ever need:

I was super tempted to buy my family's meals for the next month:

But I had to draw the line somewhere. As for all the stuff that came in bulk but was not food:

What would one do with all the slime this makes? Probably sell it to Nickelodeon.

Needless to say, I had plenty in my cart after a half an hour of wandering around the store. I even checked out the clothing! Guess what happened when I tried turning my ridiculously full basket onto the aisle of shoes? Yep. I knocked over three stacks of shoe boxes on the end cap. Embarrassing. Fortunately, two employees happened to be walking by to witness my awkward moment and helped me clean everything up. They were super sweet and joked that at least it wasn't the wine display. I agreed.

At some point, the fire alarms started going off, "Attention: Smoke has be detected in the store. Please make your way to an exit." I'm pretty sure that is what the guy said. 1. I heard it a lot. 2. I'm deaf in my left ear, so maybe I didn't hear it perfectly. I asked an employee if it was serious. He assured me it was not. The system was broken. He clarified that if the employees weren't exiting or running out of the store, then I didn't need to worry. Good to know.

Speaking of my deaf ear (see #2 in paragraph above), it turns out there is a Hearing Aid station next to the Optical Center in Sam's Club. Since I was already there, I figured it couldn't hurt to ask about one. I mean, I don't need to purchase a package of 12 or anything, but maybe they could get me one at a good price.

I took my free hearing test to confirm what I already knew: I've pretty much lost all hearing in my left ear. The good news is that a hearing aid will help me! I am going back tomorrow to have one programed for me. Then I will wander around Sam's again but this time to force people to speak with me and hear how it sounds. If it is as wonderful as I am hoping it will be, I can start the process of getting a hearing aid of my very own! 

Perhaps I'm more of a Golden Girl than I should be at age 36. 

In the end, I felt the awesome power of shopping in bulk just like Sophia. My husband, like Sophia's daughter Dorothy, was exasperated by the crushing defeat of the sales total.

*Upon a viewing of the episode again, it turns out it is cases of sardines and not tuna that Sophia purchases.

Rock on Ladies. Rock on. (Part II)

The (very) long awaited sequel to last March's post on how I feel about the perception and treatment of women in our society is here at last. (If you missed Part I, feel free to read it here.

What finally lit the fire to make me finish this two part post? This was in my FB feed today:

To which I say: WHY CAN'T IT BE BOTH?! In my previous post, I highlighted women voices throughout our history and noted (applauded) the current trend to teach girls how to set and achieve expectations that break through the barriers created by double standards based on gender.

However, I am frustrated that the pendulum is swinging so far that it is starting to discourage girls from being what would be labeled "girly." It never has to be a choice.

Two articles beautifully articulate my point. In "Engineer or Princess? Why your kids shouldn't be forced to choose," Chipps states:

"By saying 'forgo girly things for things that will get you interested in engineering' we’re saying 'if you want to be girly, you cannot also be a technology creator, an inventor, and a world changer'. We’re teaching girls to change who they are in order to effect change as an adult.

That is just as dangerous as telling girls they can only be girly. We are still forcing them into a box of what we believe they should be.

For Deibert, she doesn't want her daughter to hate pink. She notes that "Society teaches us boy stuff is awesome and girl stuff sucks, even for girls." How is that okay? Deibert realizes it isn't okay to continue to define things this way. I completely agree with her observation that, "To be human is to have a mix of traits and the faster we acknowledge that we aren’t cardboard cutouts predetermined by the way we urinate, the better off society will be." It is a crude way to put it but an effective one.

I think of the toys I had like Barbies and My Little Ponies-"girl toys". Then I smile as I remember how I used these toys alongside my Heman and Battlecat, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and a plethora of toys that didn't have to be separated by gender. Toys were just toys.

As an adult, I LOVE pink, glitter, and frills. I wear a birthday tiara on my, well, birthday. There is a part of me (very deep down) who still yearns to be a princess. My excitement over the Beauty and the Beast live action film can barely be contained. Yet, I also am OBSESSED with Wonder Woman (all superheroes/comics really), hockey, Star Wars, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (some loves never die), and other things that can easily be associated as "boy things." ALL of this defines the person I am.

Bottom line: it should be up to the girl what she wants to be and do. If she wants to be an engineer, she should be able to do that. If she wants to be a homemaker, she should be able to do that. If she wants to climb the corporate ladder knocking narrow minds for a loop, she should be allowed to do that and be paid equally.

The point is NO ONE should force her to believe she is capable of only one thing because she is female. And if she wants to be the next Nobel Prize winner in Physics, she most certainly should be able to accept that prize in a pair of stellar high heels and a tiara!

Rock On Ladies! Rock. On. (PART I)

On this last day of Women's History Month 2016, I will attempt to tackle (finally) a topic that I feel pretty strongly about: a woman's position/purpose/image in society.

Now, I probably should have started this yesterday since this will be in two parts, but I am sure how I feel and what I believe will stay the same in April.

Many of my students could probably tell you that I always shined up my soapbox when it came to how women are treated and perceived. One of my favorite units involved women writers especially during the American strand of our curriculum because I could pull out all the favorites: Susan B. Anthony, Kate Chopin, Charlotte Perkins Gilman, etc. The students would, expectedly, gasp in horror when they connected the dots of "Desiree's Baby" or see the descent into insanity in "The Yellow Wallpaper." We would also rhetorically analyze pieces like "I Want a Wife" by Judy Brady and "An Anti-Suffrage Monologue" by Marie Jenney Howe. (If you are going to only read one of the links above, I highly recommend the Howe one because it is great satire.)

When I had them in a frenzy of frustration and irritation at the treatment of women from that time period, I would swoop in with current articles tackling gender wage gaps or 21st century expectations of beauty and morality placed on women but rarely used on men. This past year I used the following pieces:

• Emma Watson's HeForShe Speech to the UN
• The Always Like A Girl Campaign
• This Fast Company piece on the Gender Wage Gap
• A piece titled "I Don't Want My Daughter to Hate Pink" (This piece and another similar piece will be key in PART II of this post.)

The kids really brought great perspective to all of this especially since this is the world in which they are expected to function as citizens some day. After teaching pieces like all of the above time and time again, I slowly began to become much more emotional about the struggles of women throughout history and how we are still fighting so many of the same things today. Laugh if you must, but I get a little choked up at this parody music video about Women's Suffrage only because I think about how tough and courageous those women truly had to be. Sure, this video is a little funny but these women had such strong convictions. They changed the world.

Because of this, I now make it a point to follow people and organizations that positively promote women.

In general, here are some of my favorite things that focus on women and how powerful they can be. Almost all of these have social media accounts, so you can follow them there as well:

Amy Poehler's Smart Girls. A great site for promoting the power of girls and women.

TED-Ed Lessons on Famous Women in History. TED Talks are great in general if you've never check them out.

The History Chicks podcast. Beckett and Susan do a fantastic job covering women throughout history. Their conversational style doesn't make it feel like I am learning history. Love this.

Stuff You Missed in History Class is another podcast I follow. It recently did a couple of podcasts on the WASPs. If you don't know what the WASPs are, go learn everything you can about them. They are an amazing set of women, and I have already started planning my day trip to their museum in Sweetwater, Texas.

The television show Agent Carter. Go to Netflix and watch season one. Then wait impatiently to devour season two. Peggy Carter is a normal, non-super powered woman who just happens to also be intelligent, witty, kind, pretty, and can totally kick ass!

This image and all variations: 
especially this one: because it mashes Rosie the Riveter with my all time favorite female icon:



via GIPHY



via GIPHY



via GIPHY

So there is PART I for you. Go ahead and be inspired or fired up or whatever about this stuff. I am! And I'll gladly tell you all about it in PART II.

Be Ye Without Cracked Screen Be The First To Throw A Stone (AKA-People With Glass On Their Smartphones Should Not Throw Judgement)

Little known fact: I judge people A LOT. Okay, maybe if you know me that fact isn't so much "little known." But here's the deal, I know it is not nice to judge people so I try to keep it in my head and do my best to overcome this vice. It is important to me to remember that I am not faultless and need to have more patience with people.

However, one thing that drives me up the wall is cracked phone screens. This is how my internal dialog goes:

"Didn't your parents teach you how to treat nice things? You should be ashamed of yourself! Phones aren't cheap. And how long have you been using that cracked screen? Have some pride and get that fixed. That is ridiculous. It looks stupid, and you could cut your hand and/or finger. You know what? Go ahead and cut up your hand! It would serve you right for your lack of appreciation of that phone."

And I never felt bad for thinking these things because every single iPhone I have ever owned since 2010 (I started with the 4) maintained a flawless screen. I always made sure I had a case and was careful where I would set the phone down or put it in my purse.

Then Wednesday the 23rd of September 2015 happened. The phone slid out of my bag when I got out of my car. I wasn't too concerned because that does happen from time to time which is why it is in a case. I picked it up and took it inside. About 10 minutes later I went to waste some time on the phone and realized that when held at a certain angle there was a teeny-tiny chink and hairline crack across the bottom. SCANDALOUS!

Calling Apple for help doesn't do anyone any good, and I knew I would have to pay $100 bucks minimum to get it replaced anyway so up to the Apple Store I went.

Turns out that the Apple Store isn't nearly as anxiety inducing on a Wednesday afternoon as it is on the weekend. The lovely employee told me that since the crack was so minimal and could only be seen at an angle there would not be a charge to replace the phone! I couldn't believe my luck! She said I would have to come back in about three hours before a tech could get me a new phone but that would give me enough time to back up my phone to either the Cloud or my computer. Hot dog!

I left feeling relieved that the $100 I planned to spend would remain in my bank account, and I felt that perhaps the no fee switch-a-roo of phones was my "reward" for always taking such great care of my previous iPhones.

With my new phone in hand, the hubby and I headed to The Wizarding World of Harry Potter in Orlando, Florida early on Thursday morning.

Then Saturday morning's Spider-Man simulator ride at Islands of Adventure happened. If a ride was going to be too rough the employees would tell us to use a locker for our things. Since this didn't happen, I had my phone in my back pocket like usual. At one point in the ride Electro hooks up a nefarious device and jolts our seats with repeated volts of electricity. The end result? My phone shook out of my pocket and the screen was for real cracked every which way. EXTREMELY SCANDALOUS!

Here I was stuck in Florida with a BRAND NEW cracked iPhone. The thing was two days old! Not to mention we weren't leaving until Sunday, so I HAD TO USE MY PHONE WITH THE CRACKED SCREEN FOR THE REST OF THE WEEKEND. Two phones in three days with cracked screens. I had become the person I usually so viciously judged.

Because my husband loves me, we headed straight for the Apple Store after landing on Sunday. I talked my way past the gate-keeper and first line of technicians. It took an hour and definitely $100 the second time around, but I managed to get home with my second new phone. I immediately ordered a super-indestructo case.

Will I continue to judge people with cracked phones screens or keep in mind that sometimes very responsible people have bad days?

I think it is safe to say that karma is a bi&*h and lesson learned.

Putting "Fantasy" in Front Doesn't Mean I Should Take Up Sports

This new year has brought with it many new experiences including my first ever participation in a Fantasy Football League. My husband has been kickin' butt in this realm for many, many years. (Between you and me, I love how much he knows about the sport and crush pretty hard when he starts talkin' football.) However, using the term "fantasy" with me always meant a fictional trip through the pages of a book. Not to mention the only sport I know anything about is hockey, and I don't know enough about that to be a power house in any Fantasy Hockey Leagues.

So here I was getting ready for my first ever draft seeking advice from the hubs in hopes of not embarrassing myself. I had an absolute blast at the draft because the league is of all my co-workers many of whom have the same dearth of knowledge about the sport as I do. (Okay, perhaps they actually know more than I do. Seriously, all I know is hockey.) It was fun and exciting waiting for my turn to come to select my next player. I had all my lists ready. I marked off players already chosen. I pulled up the position tiers on my laptop in case I needed them. The casual on-looker might have been fooled into believing I was a pro when really I'm just an overachiever working hard to perform well.

I think at the end of the draft I was graded a B or B-. Hmmm...not my best but better than average! I figured if nothing else I could just adopt the mantra of a coach I knew once who had an under-performing team: JUST BEAT ONE!

Then the first week one of the season happened. And, well, I may have actually let that coach down. One of my players was injured and out before the end of the second quarter. One of my benched players had a remarkable game. My opponent will outscore me by 20 points easily, and I am no where close to being any higher than last place in my league.

Fortunately, I can step back and have a hearty chuckle at my first experience. I did learn a few things and better understand the rantings of my husband when he tracks his own players. I will continue to try my best the rest of the season even though I have a feeling it will follow in the same vein as week one.

In the end, I just need to come to terms with the fact my nose belongs in a book and no part of me belongs in sports.

Retraining the Brain

For the first time in 11 years I didn't greet students at my classroom door on the first day of school. This didn't really affect me until the latter end of the week when my co-workers donned their spirit shirts and cheered on the football team Friday night. Then I started thinking of all the things I didn't experience this first week of school. It took its toll because for years the end of the first week of school meant exhaustion and a sore throat from constantly "laying down the law" to make sure the rest of the year went well. This time? My brain felt like I was forgetting to do something.

When I leave work now, I actually get to leave work. Nothing comes home with me. Really. I have one bag, and it is really just my purse. There were no parent or student or administrator e-mails that I ignored all day that needed to be answered. There was no mountain of SpEd or 504 paperwork I needed to go sign. There were no referrals to drop in the tray for the admin to see the next day. There wasn't any last minute lesson changes to hurry up and get copied before first period. It was incredibly weird.

My brain has never been built for non-motion. That may sound odd but what I mean is that a teacher's brain runs continuously. (Even in my sleep, I often dream of the classroom.)

So now I am trying to find ways to keep my mind occupied. It isn't as easy as one would think. The truth is that I've been micromanaged for so long (as it seems most teachers are) I don't know what to do when someone trusts me completely to take care of my business. When I finish a task, I am actually done. Since I am left alone to do what I gotta do, I end up completing things with plenty of time left in my day. That isn't to say I need more to do because I am working on ways to become more involved in my new role. It is just a little unsettling to think that for years I allowed myself to be so bogged down and watched so closely.

Perhaps that is just what makes an educator an educator. We don't know any better:). What I do know is that I will never be able to 100% quit thinking like an educator. I was born that way. However, my current position is going to force me to rewire the brain a bit. I might actually have time to write more in the evenings or even read a whole book before it is due back at the library. (Then again, I might just start binge watching Netflix Original Series.)

We'll see how I'm doing come Thanksgiving Break.

Summertime Crushes

It is 20 minutes to midnight, and I am waiting for my comforter to finish drying so I can go to bed. In the meantime, I have to share a couple of crushes that developed over the past few weeks. Keep in mind that I know almost nothing (really) about either person. The reasons for the crushes are also absolutely silly. However, everyone is entitled to absolutely silly stuff in her life especially if she has been staying home the past few weeks with her little boys who insist on discussing farts and think it is hilarious to run around the house naked before bath time.

My first crush is Wilmer Valderrama. Most people know him as Fez from That 70s Show, but I never watched that. No, Valderrama has a different look around this house:

See, he lends his voice talents to this character. The show is cute and one I don't mind watching. It is a better and more enjoyable option for teaching kids Spanish than Dora or Diego. But please don't misunderstand and think my crush is on a cutsie cartoon. Honestly, ole Manny didn't really register on my radar until I saw this:

At that moment two things happened-I learned that the same guy who played Fez voiced Handy Manny and is actually Hispanic, and the fact he took so much pride in a character that kids love completely melted my heart. Since this discovery I found out here and there that he has two other shows (maybe more), and he is dating Demi Levato.

Of course I am not too concerned about the details of his life. My crush starts and stops with his role as Manny. It is crazy, but since my television watching centers around channels with the word "Jr." attached to them, I guess that is just how it will be.

Crush #2 actually opens up a whole other can of worms regarding Game of Thrones. For now, I will just admit that I am simply in love with Emilia Clarke! Yes, Khaleesi is one of the most kick ass characters on the show, and that was a large part of this crush. Yet, what I really fell for was her social media presence. Her Instagram always makes me smile. She is just too darn adorable! I want to hang out with her! It is like being near her will increase my own awesomeness.


Thank you Handy Manny and Khaleesi for make summer infinitely better! For now, I must check the comforter and go to sleep.

True Red, White, and Blue

This was an American kind of weekend. Saturday was the 4th of July. That meant for 24 hours the FB posts that flooded my feed were a unified voice of the wonders of America. Everything from the origins of the nation to contemporary memes lauding how great we are replaced the numerous ignorant and often hateful posts targeting various groups, politicians, and/or policies currently at the forefront of American media. Then Sunday everyone watched as the US Women's Soccer Team gave us another reason to proudly proclaim our love for the red, white, and blue.

Of course, the 4th of July is only one day and once the euphoria of Women's Soccer abides I have a feeling I'll have to go back to scrolling through numerous posts that claim what America is or should be. That usually (and rather unfortunately) means the exclusion of a group of people or ideas that actually contribute to what makes America great.

This got me to thinkin' about my own views of patriotism and being American. I often keep my mouth shut when it comes to the whole "what it means to be American" thing because I fear the contempt and derision of others who won't even bother hearing me out before judging me. Well, Kid President says, "It is okay to disagree. It is NOT okay to be mean." So I hope those who read this keep that in mind:).

To me there isn't only one way to be American. We don't have a national religion or language. It is true we have a predominant religion and language, but to ignore the numerous cultures and beliefs that built our nation and continue to shape it is just silly. I mean it. Unless one's heritage includes that of the Native Americans, everyone's family came from somewhere else. Some of those places spoke various dialects and languages. Some of those places were polytheistic or atheistic. Some of those places produced lovely shades of people.

The thing is: people came to America because it was so different! You want an opportunity to be successful even though you were born in a lower class? Come to America. You want an opportunity to be educated? Come to America. You want a feeling of safety and security? Come to America. You simply want these things for your children? Then come to America. Sure there was a lot more to it in many cases, but these reasons are what convinced so many people to leave everything they knew and start over. I feel like a majority of Americans have forgotten that. Maybe that is why it is so easy to spew hatred? Some of us have been here for enough generations to feel superior to those just arriving who are different? What is that going to accomplish other than making Americans look like a bunch of jerks? A favorite essay of mine is "On National Prejudice" by Oliver Goldsmith. The gist: why does being patriotic mean I have to hate everyone from everywhere else? Simple answer: I don't. I can be a proud American and still value another's religious belief or skin color or language or whatever.

It is also important to support the ideas upon which this nation was built. So, yeah, I'm a pretty big fan of The Constitution of the United States of America. What I am not a fan of is how people are abusing the poor thing to elevate outdated or incorrect ideals.

The Founding Fathers knew times would change and left room for us to make necessary adjustments. If this was not the case, things would look a lot different around here. So why do we throw a fit about changing The Constitution? I'm not advocating a complete overhaul that would place a monarch back in charge; however, I'm incredibly grateful that slavery is illegal and women can vote. This is, after all, America in the 21st Century not in the 18th Century when The Constitution was born.

The last time I checked, no one walked into my church and stated that the President was now in charge and we all had to worship his way or die. Neither has my church marched into the White House declaring a theocratic form of government. (As a matter of fact, there are some serious problems right now in countries who have done these things.) So I'm going to need everyone to relax on this whole freedom of religion/separation of church and state thing. We are not being threatened by the British. Soldiers are not banging on our doors demanding accommodation. So I'm going to need everyone to calm it down just a bit about bearing those arms.

We seem so ready to bite someone's head off for infringing on our "Constitutional Rights!" First, why don't we all review them (or maybe read them for the first time) to make sure we know exactly what is being infringed upon. Then we need to make sure our torching and pitchforking isn't actually infringing on someone else's Constitutional Rights.

If anyone is thinking, "Yeah, well, it's only a matter of time before all these terrible things happen! America is falling apart!," please find a more productive way of helping your nation than by being ugly with words and actions. Apparently, our country lets us have a say in the government (no really-see that "read The Constitution" suggestion I made earlier). If one is tired of how things are going-THEN STOP VOTING FOR/SUPPORTING THE SAME PEOPLE WHO ARE MAKING THE SAME POOR DECISIONS.

I know, I know-the problem is we don't all agree on what constitutes a "poor decision." Part of being American is at least educating oneself enough to make the most informed and best decision for the nation as a whole. Sorry but declaring everyone be or live one way according to one person's standards is not best for the nation as a whole and can lead to a very bad place (see: fascism).

Finally, the piece "Why Do We Inject Patriot Acts Into Sports?" by Ralph Strangis is an offshoot of what I am saying here. It is well done and brings a lot of things into question regarding how we honor our soldiers and veterans. And while it probably deserves its own post, I hope it at least makes people sit back and think about sincere vs. peer-pressured patriotism.

Okay, to recap my rambling:

Being American is about taking pride in a nation that welcomes everyone. Being American is about respecting and learning from, even if disagreeing with, a multitude of cultures and ideas. Being American is knowing her history and the documents that established her as a country. Being American is about understanding that this is 2015 and not 1776-patriotism might look a little different and that is okay. Being American is about continuously building the nation up not tearing it down. Being American is about learning from the good, bad, and ugly things and then finding a way to make them better. Being American is about being grateful one lives in a place where all of this can happen.

Summer Solstice? Already?

It seems like ages have passed since I packed up my life as an ELA educator and stepped into my new role as Instructional Technology Specialist.

I'll pick up at the end of one which really is the beginning of the other. Eleven years in the classroom boils down to this one photo. This is all I took with me when I left. Almost all of my books I left behind to help the next teacher. I even left my classroom library for the students to continue to enjoy.

After all, it cannot all fit in my new corner of the world:

Setting up my space was just part of the cool stuff I did during the first two weeks of summer vacation. I spent some time meeting my new co-workers who are all FANTASTIC. They accepted me with all my quirks and giddy optimism. I even was able to attend a conference with a few of them which afforded me time to really see into the great world of Instructional Technology. Which brings me to the question I have been asked by numerous people since announcing my new position: "What is it you do now?"

First and foremost: I CANNOT help you fix your computer or figure out why your internet is not working. That is one type of IT-Informational Technology. My job title is Instructional Technology. As it sounds, my concern is with instruction meaning that I still work with curriculum and lessons and all of that. I just come at all of that with an eye on what kind of web applications and programs could bring the lesson into the 21st century and beyond. Another large aspect of my job is helping teachers educate students on Digital Citizenship. (You know-safety, security, and making sure kids don't post or create anything so inappropriate it haunts them for the rest of their lives.)

By working with education tech and curriculum, I get to help teachers integrate it into the classroom in suitable ways. Technology should never be superfluous. Basically, no one should use tech just for the sake of using tech. Instructional technology should bring a new dimension to learning by providing students the opportunities to teach, share, and learn with each other in ways that couldn't happen before. All teachers know about Bloom's, well the tech version is SAMR. The ThingLink at the end of the post does a sensational job of explaining how SAMR works. One of the things I am looking forward to is learning all the other subject areas and seeing how they approach their lesson planning and execution. However, I think ELA will remain my strong suit since that is the one I know best:).

As for the Digital Citizenship, well, I think everyone can agree this is something that must be taught since digital devices are so prevalent. Students need to understand that the devices in their hands can be powerful education tools and not just toys. (In all honesty, I know plenty of adults who need to learn this as well.) Therefore, I will also be working on helping teachers guide students to becoming superb digital citizens.

So really, my new job is easy to explain. I use technology applications in planning and implementing instruction. Therefore, I am an Instructional Technology Specialist.

Of course, my new position has me all crazy excited and ready to go. I want to meet and plan and research and devise and all the other things I can do in anticipation of the fall. Yet, I still need to remember to enjoy my summer. While I wait for the new school year to begin, I set a couple of fun goals for myself. I stumbled across the concept of Sketchnoting and came up with this:

I want to be proficient in digital Sketchnoting before the school year starts. Also, it turns out that Pinterest is apparently a great tool for organizing ideas for ed tech and other lesson ideas. I had an account when it first started, but thought it was a waste of time and deleted it. Well, some of my new co-workers encouraged me to give it another try. Then an edublogger I like actually posted about Pinterest for educators the other day. Along with Sketchnoting, I will be building my Pinterest boards to become useful resources for ideas.

If I can get my act together, I might even remember to post more often. Chances are I will get a work blog going and people will be able to follow my adventures in my new position. Only time will tell. Speaking of time, it is a quarter past midnight. Yikes! Good night.

(Just scroll over the picture to get the links to work.)

The One Constant in Life

Next August I will set foot in a new building with a new job, challenges, and adventures. After 11 years in the classroom, I will no longer be a high school English teacher. I am leaving the students I love. I am leaving the campus I know. I am leaving the district that raised me. This absolutely terrifies me in the best way possible:).

Teaching was never a choice for me. It will always be something I was simply born to do. If you know me, you know this to be 100% true. I have the heart and mind of an educator. It never stops. I think about my students and their successes long after they leave my class. I lay in bed at night reworking and adding to lessons because I saw or read something that I want to share in class. Getting in front of a bunch of teenagers and making a fool out of myself so they can better understand an author's purpose is second nature to me. And I must admit, I'm not bad at what I do.

So the decision to resign my post was not an easy one at any point and time. To be honest, I resigned this time last year angry at the system for ruining education. There was no fun to be had thanks to unrelenting standardized testing and policy-makers who seemed to enjoy making educators miserable. I was convinced no one ever had or would view me as a professional in my field. Why should they when so many tout how much better it is to home school or charter school or private school? It hurt and was rather insulting to think that all of my studies and education amounted to nothing. It seemed evident that the only thing anyone required was a wind-up monkey of sorts to churn out a curriculum soaked in testing remediation. It felt even more wretched knowing my colleagues across the nation were experiencing similar situations. I was in a very dark place and not sure what to do, so I quit.

Then one evening I received the following e-mail:

"Thank you so much! I fell in love with this book. The ending is so dramatic, I love it. By the way, I knew Lord Henry's influence was going to ruin him. If he wouldn't have pointed out the pleasure behind Dorian's youth and beauty and how it would all eventually fade, none of this would have happened. Anyways, thanks once again. I shall be buying my own copy soon enough (:"

See, this young lady was originally rather peeved at me for assigning her The Picture of Dorian Gray. In a few sentences, this student reminded me that affecting change can sometimes happen in small but incredibly important ways. I decided to wait one more year to see if I could find the light in the darkness. After all, no great teacher goes into teaching for the money.

So here I am a year later and no longer angry. No one will ever understand the pure joy and crazy frustrations of teaching unless he or she actually steps into a classroom and, well, teaches. Therefore, all that anger I felt was really quite wasted. It only made me miserable, and many opinions still did not change. Then I was left with a new problem: me.

I know that every year I matter to 150ish students, and when one adds that up over 11 years it turns into a lot of people. Yet, I believe I can do more. My passion for the classroom has stalled. I know there is more to learn and to teach. Then it occurred to me that if I were able to train/teach teachers, I could indirectly reach so many more kids. AND, if I found a way to help shape and mold curriculum, I might actually start making systematic change!

Three paths unfolded before me at this point: building curriculum strictly through English/Language Arts, building curriculum through cross-curricular instruction, or building curriculum through educational technology. All three would be a step upward in the education chain and require me to leave the classroom. Yet, I have never been more certain that it is time for something different.

That is why Wednesday I accepted the position of Instructional Technology Specialist in a neighboring school district.

Leaving the classroom will be hard and disappoint many of the students I see year after year. I am sure there will be questions and concerns and anger and hurt feelings. None of which am I looking forward to. I have to believe that in the end my students will understand why this move is necessary to help me grow as an educator, and I hope they know (and never forget) that I will continue to care very much about them long after I leave the classroom.

Just You Wait 'enry 'iggins-Just You Wait

As many parents of young children understand, it is difficult to really enjoy television that doesn't come from a channel designated "jr" somewhere in the title. For the past few years "favorite" shows of mine included an array of cartoon pirates, princesses, guppies, monsters, puppets, and more. Our DVR held more recordings of Octonauts, Special Agent Oso, and Yo Gabba Gabba! than my episodes of Graham Norton, Doctor Who, Agents of SHIELD, and Once Upon a Time (the only four shows I watched regularly). The biggest issue was that I would forget to watch (or record) a show I was interested in therefore falling so far behind that getting into the show later was sort of pointless. While Netflix and Amazon Prime have helped a little, it isn't the same as when I had something specific to look forward to watching each night of the week. And for a while it was okay because there didn't seem to be anything on that I really wanted to watch.

This fall I already had the DVR set for my two staple BBC shows: Doctor Who and Graham Norton (I wish American "chat" shows worked like they do in Great Britain.) Agents of SHIELD also maintained its place because it just keeps getting better and better. After all, "it's all connected."

However, I had already decided that last season's Once Upon a Time was it for me. The initial premise of the show was really cool. To take classic fairy tales and spin them in a way that made Rumplestilskin Belle's "beast" and Snow White and Prince Charming's daughter a savior of sorts was fantastic! Even discovering that Red Riding Hood was the actual wolf made for exciting television. Then they totally sold out and it became "how many Disney characters can we cram into this show?" The moment they brought Elsa and Ana on screen I knew sharks had been jumped. (I love Frozen but for prime time also to cash in...not cool.)

It turns out that canceling that show was okay because two shows caught my eye: Selfie and Forever.

Selfie is My Fair Lady in television form. I mean, the main character's name is Eliza Dooley, and the guy she asks to help her rebuild her image is named Henry. Yet, I'm totally okay with all of that because it stars Karen Gillian and John Cho, two actors I like. The show will be a nice set of laughs during the week.


The real surprise though is the show Forever. To be completely honest, I was really only vaguely interested in the premise since the main motivating factor to watch was this:

(That would be the absolutely GORGEOUS Ioan Gruffudd. I have seen him in real life, and he IS just as beautiful.)

 But the reason I am going to keep watching is because the show is pretty darn good. It is formulaic in its stock of characters and murder mystery ways; however, the fact that Ioan's character (also a "Henry") is immortal is kind of neat. What really grabs my attention are the flashbacks he has of his life, and the big reveal of who the character "Abe" is at the end of the pilot almost made me cry. Because I have such an amazing bestie, I am caught up and ready to watch from here till the end of the season.


Many people might wonder why I am even limiting myself to how many shows I watch at all. DVR has a lot of space. Well, I still have to compete with Sofia the First and Doc McStuffins for TV time. In the end, I really don't have all the time in the world to catch up on various shows. When I record too many, I quit watching and delete them because it becomes overwhelming. Five shows this season is really pushing it anyway. If any more shows come along that I am dying to watch, they will just have to wait until they run on Netflix or Amazon Prime.

My real fear is that I will curse these new shows, and they will be canceled even before the end of the first season. See, every time I become a fan of a TV show, it ends long before it should. (RIP Pushing Daisies.) Or it starts to go downhill fast (see Once Upon a Time above). For now I will DVR what I can and keep my fingers crossed.

Dear William,

This morning I will drop you off at Kindergarten. Over five years ago you made your grand entrance into this world on your own terms: way too early. I should have known then that you were just always going to be ahead of the game. For months your daddy and I debated holding you back a year. You weren't having any of that. So what if you are one of the youngest in your class? So what if you aren't going to be the biggest kid in your class? You are ready for this.

I, however, am not. I know how this works. I've experienced 10 years of first days of school. Yet, nothing prepared me for your first day of school. A part of me dreads what will follow after this day.

See, what your sweet and innocent heart doesn't see coming is life. You've never been bullied (or worse-the bully). You've never been friendless. You've never NOT known the right answer. You've never really dealt with dismay. For over five years I have worked hard to make sure you are loved and a loving individual. I found the perfect daycare where you grew up with the same 10-14 kids. All the teachers knew you and cared for you. It was the best because I took comfort in knowing they too were perhaps a bit protective of your innocence and goodness. Because of this, I am afraid today will be a shock to your system.

You will walk into a classroom with only positive expectations regarding your education. Why wouldn't you? Daddy and I reinforce the joys of school as often as possible. What I cannot stop are the kids who don't come from similar backgrounds. I cannot stop the kid next to you from teasing you when your enthusiasm takes off. I know that will crush you because you are kind-hearted and will not understand what is so amusing about your desire to learn.

You will walk into a classroom knowing none of the other students. But you are an adventurous extrovert and will do your best to make new friends. What I cannot stop are the kids who don't know how to be friends. These kids are new to me too. I cannot even promise I'll like the ones you choose to befriend, and that is quite an unsettling feeling. My heart breaks at the thought that you will return home friendless because that will make returning to school difficult.

You will walk into a classroom as one of the most precocious boys from your daycare. Quickly, you will see you aren't the only one with the answer. I know how you get when someone else gets the glory of being first or right. What I cannot stop is the other smart children. You will have to learn to share knowledge and how to be part of a learning unit. You will have your moments to shine, and my heart will swell with pride every time you do.

But I suppose this is how life is meant to work. Keeping you protected from the "real world" would only cause problems later. I know this. It doesn't change the fact I wish you could learn about all of this without having to experience disappointment or heartache. Besides, life can be full of truly momentous experiences that bring joy and abounding love that are best appreciated after accepting the other.

So while I choke back tears of excitement and anxiety, you are going to march confidently into school ready to conquer the world. You have all you need to succeed. I will remind myself this all day, and when I pick you up from school you will tell me all about the best first day of school ever.

Love,
Mommy

Time for a Change (or The Inmates are Running the Asylum)

Today was my official last day of being a work-in-the-home mom for the summer. Once upon a time I thought teaching was the perfect profession to pair with motherhood. I mean, I get all my vacations at the right times to keep my kids. I didn't believe I would have to choose career or family because for roughly three months of the year I could just focus on family. Then for the rest of it, I could "earn my keep" (just ask my hubby about how I love to spend money).

Oh silly, silly me.

We had one kid and this system seemed to work out. I mean it was pretty boring being stuck at home with an infant because most things for kids require them to be at least 4 or 5 years old. However, I managed and realized, since he was such a great infant who could often sit quietly and entertain himself with a few toys, that my summer didn't really change much. I could still devote time to planning for the upcoming school year.

Then we had another kid. Now, before I continue I want it understood that I ADORE my children and wouldn't trade them for the world. However, two kids changes a LOT. For instance, my second son is incredibly demanding of my time. He is not content to sit quietly and entertain himself with a few toys. Actually, if left for even a few seconds, one could possibly find him removing the grate and crawling into the air vents (ours are by the floors). Or one might find him unzipping and emptying out all the stuffing in the couch cushions. One might even catch him as he manages to remove his diaper WITHOUT removing his pants. And just recently he has figured out how to remove all of his clothing.

This has made my summer quite an adventure. Luckily, my oldest is finally old enough to participate in the cool stuff going on in the city. He attended a drama camp at the Children's Theater (his favorite), a camp at the Arboretum, and a three day art camp to create a mosaic. We also had our week long family vacation in Pittsburgh, so a lot of the summer has been eaten away simply by these things. And yet, the times we've spent at home are starting to take their toll. Even with a splashpad down the road, storytime at the library on a weekly basis, and a swimming pool in our back yard; working in the home with two young children has completely worn me out.

For starters simply feeding them is an experience. They eat three meals and two snacks a day. Last year I tried to be a "good" mom and put together healthy but fun lunches and snacks to make sure their bodies got what was best. Yeah, that lasted maybe a month. I just couldn't watch them and make sure everything was prepared appropriately. Plus, some of the grown-ups in my household aren't necessarily pleased with what so many parenting magazines consider "healthy and fun" snacks. This summer I realized that a 5 year old is content with PB&J every day for lunch while his 2 year old brother will gladly eat pieces of ham and cheese and one slice of bread.

Next came the changes in naptime. I used to love naptime. That meant I had TWO WHOLE HOURS to myself. I would usually lay in the pool for 30-45 minutes and then come in and read or sleep until the kids woke up. It was heavenly. Well, my 5 year old starts Kindergarten in three weeks meaning no more naps since he'll go all day. We tried that. It sucked. Instead, we made him take a 20 minute nap and then get up. However, his younger brother still needs a nap just not a long one. If the 2 year old naps for more than an hour, he will not go to sleep before midnight. All of this to say that I had to time the naps which meant no more relaxing for me. Boo.

Finally, my kids are social beings (even though the 2 year old is turning out to be quite shy and a homebody). They are daycare kids. They need that kind of interaction and stimulation. As much as they may love me, I cannot provide everything that the daycare does. So we have arrived at the point in the summer where they start acting out out of boredom and slowly driving me crazy. The oldest is starting to talk back and argue even calling my husband an "idiot" the other day. Unacceptable. The youngest insists on being held ALL THE TIME. And when he doesn't get his way the fits are becoming more and more dramatically epic. I am starting to resent my husband for being able to leave for business lunches and meetings (he usually works from home) simply because he gets to leave the house and the kids.

It is to the point where I almost don't care that the youngest opened and emptied his sippy cup all over the couch and ottoman for the second day in a row. I sit at the dinner table and just stare at my oldest and attempt to listen to his endless jabber about everything. It pretty much zaps my energy which I'd like to start putting towards lesson plans and getting ready for the school year. Have I started ignoring the screaming and arguing when it is in another room? Maybe. It never lasts long and as long as they are making noise I know they aren't getting into any real trouble.

So am I complaining about my role at mom during the summer? Does this mean I'm unhappy? Nah. All it really means is that summer is coming to an end. We can all feel it. I'm ready to be back in my classroom even though there still won't be enough time to get everything done. My youngest is ready to return to daycare even though he will probably throw a fit on Monday when I drop him off. My oldest is ready for his newest adventure in Kindergarten even though he still has a few weeks to wait.

It is just time. Time for summer to transition into fall. Time for a new season, school year, and chapter in life. Time for...time for...

Time for me to go to bed (seriously, I'm exhausted).

Girl Power!

Today I ran across the article "Meet the Woman Who Made History With Marvel's Guardians of the Galaxy" , read it, and thought, "My God! She's like a way cooler version of me I'd like to be! She's 33 and admires Ray Bradbury and SIR Kenneth Branagh, both of whom she's met. (I want to be her friend! Please let life work out where we can be friends!) However, the article did stand out for many other reasons.

Let's just start with the fact that a woman is behind the spark that became the awesome movie Guardians of the Galaxy. I love that she chose the "lesser [property]" that most people weren't sure was the best one for the direction of the cinematic part of the franchise. Woman's intuition! Ha! This says a lot about going with one's gut. Even though we like to rely on reason many times before taking a risk, there are moments when that nagging feeling in the pit of the stomach must be acted upon. I like that.

I also love, love, love the two year program Perlman was part of. It didn't seem like a usual intern program where Marvel just found a bunch of comic fanatics and tricked them into sorting through all the properties saving the higher-ups time. Instead, Marvel seems to take great care of those chosen for the program. I mean, Perlman's job at one point was to just read comic books! Then she was pretty much left alone to develop her idea. I cannot remember the last time I was left alone to develop ANY idea. There are always "rules" that have to be followed. I admire Marvel for allowing creativity to develop like that.

Then of course there is the class and humility with which Perlman accepted someone else would rework her original script. She understands how things work, and my frustration sits more with Gunn's "[downplaying] Perlman's involvement." I get it is probably all tied up into screen credits and money, but c'mon. Would it have killed Gunn to admit that Perlman's hunch about Quill and the gang is somewhat responsible for the film that scored 100% on Rotten Tomatoes?! Oh well. At least Marvel still treated her well letting her come on set and stuff.

So my favorite points: Marvel seems to know how to treat its people, Guardians is on the big screen because of a woman, and Perlman maintained her composure instead of going total fangirl when she got to work with SIR Kenneth Branagh (I totally would have giggled the whole time he was in front of me).

This is just an inspirational article. Not to mention it is a step towards changing many ideas about what a comic book fan and screenwriter looks like. Nicole Perlman-YOU GO GIRL!

Did I Miss the Dog Days?

You know the song. Wait, yep there it is

But seriously, I'm halfway (or a little over) through Summer Break 2014 and think things are going relatively well. I took a different approach this summer. See, last year I tried to be a well organized mom since I keep my boys with me for a couple of months. I even drew up calendars and planned meals. You know what I learned? I suck at that.

This summer I decided to take each day at a time. Of course it helped that we took our family vacation to Pittsburgh, PA for a week and my oldest can finally be sent off to day camps for weeks at a time. This meant I just had to entertain my (almost) two-year-old for a few hours each day. Something is working because this summer is flying by, and I don't feel like I've just let my kids sit in front of a TV all day. Sure lunch is pretty routine with PB&J sandwiches instead of fancy wheat tortilla cheese rolls (or whatever I tried last year), but the boys are happy and well fed.

I decided to better myself by becoming ESL certified this summer. I even signed up for an official online program through my undergrad Alma Mater: SFASU. Summer I cost me $1000, and when it looked like the rest of the program would cost an additional $2000 I decided to drop out. How's that for setting an example? I just don't think that makes sense for an ONLINE program where I am expected to pay for actual graduate student fees. Besides, my main goal was to learn something new that could be applied to my teaching. I already have worked through three texts and have a few more to read through before taking the exam in a week. I feel pretty confident that I will be able to use what I learned and can definitely pass the certification exam. Does this mean I want to start teaching ESL classes? Well, not really. I just needed a new direction. I've taught the same things for so long and receive so much staff development in the same stuff that I stagnated.

Another big step this summer has been preparing to send off my five-year-old to Kindergarten in 41 days. (He is so ready. I am not. Trust me. I've been compiling the blog post for that whopper for months. The trick will be getting it typed up without falling completely apart.) Today we got his little uniforms. I could have waited until Tax Free Weekend I suppose, but I really don't like dealing with those crowds. As much as I am against standardized dress, he is going to look adorable in his outfits. I also ordered a backpack for him and painted it with things that he likes. I checked multiple times to make sure he didn't have to have a clear or solid bag, so I'm excited about it!

There really isn't much else going on around here at the moment. I really just need to be writing again.

Off With Their Heads!

First, a scene that perfectly sums up my feelings about my presence being requested at civil court for jury duty:

 

(Actually, I'm shocked that the exact scene I wanted was the first one to pop up when normally I have to do some searching for what I am looking for.)

Very few things come through the mail that I dread with every molecule of my body, and a jury summons is one of them. It is easily identifiable so my loathing begins before even opening the envelope. A few weeks ago one of these pesky buggers heralded the need of my services for today. That's right, with two weeks left in the school year I had to miss a day for jury duty. 

Now, I am aware that I could ask for it to be postponed. Honestly, when is jury duty ever convenient? My healthy fear of karma convinced me that if I kicked and screamed and postponed the available options would really suck. So I put on my big girl pants and showed up at 8:32 A.M. (I would have been on time, but I forgot to factor in one of the directions traffic would go to enter the parking garage.)

The "orientation" video was already playing so I found a spot along the wall (I didn't want to crawl over anyone to get to a seat. See how courteous I am?) and simmered while a local TV personality explained how the jury system worked. C'mon now. I get we weren't all A+ students, but knowing the functions of the justice system is required for graduation right? Plaintiff, defendant, judge, bailiff, and jury are in the courtroom-check. Don't talk about the case with others-check. Don't post about the case on social media-check (not a problem since it was an AT&T building which rendered my Verizon service useless). Wait...did you just try to guilt me into appreciating my "right" and "privilege" to serve on a jury? Let me explain something: I TEACH IN A PUBLIC SCHOOL. Can we not count that as my civil service to this country? I mean, maybe if I was in my class instead of a courthouse I would be able to clarify the judicial branch of our government therefore cutting down the orientation video time if not making it unnecessary completely. Just a thought.

When the video ended, I finally asked a lady if I may sit in one of the empty seats next to her. Without moving her bag, she said yes which meant I got to sit next to the man she felt she needed to be two seats away from. I quickly understood why. I mean, maybe his gimmick was coming in unwashed and malodorous so they wouldn't want to keep him. Maybe it worked. It definitely made me lean away and pray for it all to end quickly. My husband asked why I didn't just get up and move. I didn't want to be rude! Sheesh.

I was in the very first group to be called to a courtroom. Yea-not really. Number 43 out of 45 chosen. This is the furthest I have gotten in a long time. I kept reminding myself that if I had to serve at least it would be in civil court and not criminal which would probably take up more time. Then the judge informed us this particular trial was looking at a two week time span. Um...no thank you.

Fortunately, I was not chosen. However, we were not dismissed until 4:45 P.M. A whole day sitting in one room listening to lawyers ask redundant questions to pick SIX of us. Yeah, only six out of 45. We did have one man lose it, walk out, and not return. I think the judge may have let that one slide because the gentleman was clearly a little off kilter. Then we had two women not return after lunch. From what I understand, they now have warrants out for their arrests. Oh yeah, I almost fell in a toilet. So at least today had some excitement to it. 

Even though I usually walk out of a courthouse as perturbed as I was going in (hence the title of my post), the judge said something interesting to us before dismissing us. I actually plan to send him a "thank you" because it kind of adjusted my view. He thanked us repeatedly for showing up since it is more than many are willing to do. He told us he understood the inconvenience of jury duty. He also reminded us that the rights and freedoms we enjoy come with some "burdens." For us, our burden is to periodically be asked to come in for jury duty while others volunteer to be sent overseas and shot at for defending these rights and freedoms. Basically, as Americans we should share the burden of responsibility for observing our rights and freedoms even though some may take on more of that burden than others. He encouraged us to make sure friends and family understood this and did their duty when receiving a summons (or even remembering to vote). And you know, he's right. Some day any one of us could be on the other side of that courtroom waiting anxiously for a jury of our peers to be chosen who will decide our legal fate.

It is an inconvenient burden, but one I'm a little more willing to share...even if I do teach in public school.

The Business of Graduation

For the first time in my nine years of teaching at North, I actually worked graduation. It is surprising that I haven't signed up before because I bleed blue (I attended the high school where I now teach-the school colors are blue and white). Perhaps part of it was that I hadn't really taught at North long enough to know a bunch of the students walking across the stage. Regardless of the reasons, the 4:30 A.M. alarm happened much sooner than I'd hoped.

Fortunately, my nerves and adrenaline took care of keeping me awake throughout the morning (okay, and one can of Pepsi). I was actually anxious about working graduation because I didn't want to mess up so monumentally that students missed a bus or were seated incorrectly or broke a rule without me noticing. Pretty silly I know, but this was a very big day for a lot of people.

It turns out that North runs graduation like a well oiled machine. I mean everything is labeled and/or numbered and scheduled to the minute. As long as I could do more than convert oxygen to carbon dioxide, I was fine.

6:00 A.M. to 7:00 A.M. was spent in the cafeteria of North wanding kids, making sure they were dressed appropriately, and loading chartered buses. Then we were on our way to the convention center for the ceremony.

We arrived shortly before 8:00 A.M. and had about an hour to wait for our 9 o'clock ceremony. While waiting, students had their official graduation pictures taken and could visit with each other until it was time. I ran around and snapped as many pictures as I could with former students in their gorgeous blue gowns. Of course, I had to also have a couple of shots in my fancy-schmancy academic robes. (Pictures are my life. I'm such a visual nerd.)

Then it was time...

Walking out of the tunnel and leading students to their rows was an incredible responsibility. Like walking them out toward their future. It really is an overwhelming experience. I was mostly overcome by the positivity and pride that vibrated from the crowd. It felt like an electric charge of happiness.

Once we were seated, I asked the girl next to me if she was able to tell her family where the best seats were (we had scoped some out the day before during practice). We both looked in the general area she had chosen and noticed a very handsome marine entering his seat. Tears began to well up in her eyes. "That's my brother!" she exclaimed. I asked, "Did you not expect him to be here?" "No," she said, "It's not that. I knew he was coming. It's just been so long since I've seen him." And that's when I cried.

See, that's when all the political crap that dictates public education stopped mattering. For better or worse, that's when the extra tutoring and late nights at events and report cards and referrals and detentions and dances and spirit days and late work and credit recovery and parent meetings and standardized testing stopped mattering. It all came down to this, and that girl had made it. She navigated a system that is criticized by the media and neglected because people would rather fund charter or private schools instead of building back up the public ones. She made it! And while some students might have just barely been eligible for graduation, many showed up and performed to the best of their abilities for four years truly earning that diploma. Very little else in my life beats the feeling I had at that moment when I realized this.

Then the salutatorian and valedictorian gave their speeches. Yes, I'm going to brag because both were my former students (and I got a shout out in one of the speeches). During the speeches, I was so proud of the girls. I can't even imagine how their families felt because I knew it would be so much more than what I was experiencing. I cried again.

Life needs more graduations! Wait, wait...let me rephrase because I don't need to attend a graduation ceremony every time my kids move up a grade level. Life needs more events that create this Happiness Energy. Sure, in the grand scheme of things our graduation ceremony will go unnoticed by almost everyone who didn't have a child walk across that stage today. But for the 500+ young adults and their families today was a reason to rejoice.

It is a good feeling.

The Fourth is Strong with this Post

Okay, okay. I think everyone gets that today is Star Wars Day. What better day to post about my thoughts on the new Star Wars happenings then on such a day? (Insert Yoda voice) Proceed I must hmmmm...

A couple of days ago a co-worker asked me if I was excited about the new Star Wars films. It took zero time for me to respond, "No!" Of course, I then had to explain how I could be a fan of the franchise and not be excited. See, every time Lucas does something with Star Wars he sort of makes it worse. It started when he decided to digitally enhance the original series, and THEN he thought it would be a good idea to make the prequels. I did too because I figured it would be cool to see where it all started since the originals start in the middle of the story. I was wrong. Harsh lessons were learned every time I left the theater in hopes that the next prequel movie would be better. Mainly: if it ain't broke, don't fix it. (You can start at 2:41 and stop at 4:26)




Yes, Simon Pegg, just like f*&^()$ Shaft. (Although, I was a child when I first saw Return of the Jedi so I sort of loved the Ewoks.) What is going to go wrong with these new films? More wacko characters? More terrible acting? I mean, does anyone buy the fact that Christensen's whiny-ass Anakin really becomes the bad-ass Vader. Anyone?

But enough about the past, this is about the future. Disney now owns Star Wars and therefore will insist on making money off of it. This past week the cast was announced. And you know what I now have to do? Look most of them up in IMDB or Wikipedia because I have no clue who they are. I suppose it makes sense since Carrie Fisher, Mark Hamill, and Harrison Ford weren't really known either. When looking at it that way, I am sort of okay with a young cast I do not recognize. Still, do I really want to see an aged Luke, Leia, and Han? And do Wookies even age? Droids definitely don't. Right? They were all so happy at the end of Jedi, and I'd like to preserve them like that in my memory. Not as mortals who grow old. That's part of suspending disbelief.

Next, I hear it will occur 30 years after the end of Jedi. Okay, so we are talking New Jedi Order? Will it follow any of the numerous book series? Or will it create a whole new storyline? I've tried to keep up with all the directions things went within the books and finally admitted defeat. What I do know is that Leia has twins and one turns to the dark side. Is that what will happen in the films? Then of course it seems the Emperor is reborn and does finally manage to get his hands on Luke. Can I even handle something like that? Definitely not. Why couldn't we just end the story happily where it stopped? All I really wanted to see happen next was Han and Leia's wedding. I bet that was AWESOME! But besides that? I'm good.

The real question is whether I'm going to lay down $11 a ticket to see these new films in the theaters. The truth is I really don't know. How weird is it going to be NOT seeing the 20th Century Fox logo before the space credits? Disney hasn't disappointed with the Avenger and Muppets, but this just feels different. I just cannot be disappointed again. The prequels were brutal.

Can we just go back to a time when Solo shot first?

C'mon Get Happy

I posted this photo awhile ago on my Facebook. It is simply my oldest child enjoying life. My youngest had an equally adorable moment on the swing while smiling up at the sun. Unfortunately, I couldn't move my phone quickly enough to also get a picture of that. The point is that both my children successfully reminded me the importance of just being happy.

See, I spent a vast majority of this school year rather miserable. There are a million reasons why I was so unhappy. Most of them revolving around STAAR and the absolute crap decisions being made with regards to how my students deserve to be educated because of the stupid state exam. Yes, I was frustrated with everyone who doesn't teach telling me what I needed to do to be a better educator. Yes, I was irritated every time some snake-oil salesman convinced people in positions of power to waste money on unnecessary songs and dances we now have to perform in the classroom. Yes, I was furious that no one seemed to ask students and parents what they were doing to perform better. Yes, I allowed "black holes" (people whose sole mission in life is to drain all brightness out of any situation) to affect how I feel. My life simply continued to spiral down and I felt, as Anne Shirley would say, "I'm in the depths of despair." And what did it get me in the end? NOT. A. DAMN. THING.

That's right. Nothing changed. I stomped. I cried. I screamed. I pleaded. I demanded. And the same amount of "nothing changed" occurred. The only thing that seemed to happen: I remained miserable. I hated my job. I hated my life. And you know what? It really isn't worth it.

Sure, the world is full of downers, and life can really suck at times. However, the only thing I can control in those situations is how emotional I choose to become. Incredibly stoic I know. (Actually, ever since I read Marcus Aurelius's Meditations* years ago, I try to be mindful of my attitude.) Therefore, I can either become another "black hole" or  realize that I can in fact change if no one and nothing around me will.

I'm also aware that there is real comedic genius behind a lot of the cynical views in current culture. Often, I have a laugh at a foible in society or the absurd actions of another. To me, that is fine. The problem occurs when that is the only place I choose to look for laughs. I mean, many a truth is told in jest, and only seeing the world through that lens does eventually bring me down.

So I've just decided to be happy. That's it. I will make decisions with the purpose of making sure the end result is that I am happy. I will also do what I can to help others be happy. There will come a time when none of my options may make me happy, but I can definitely choose the one that won't make me miserable. And even then, I can choose to take the miserable stuff in stride and cope rather than wallow. I'm also going to go back to the things that exist to make people smile: faith**, family, friends, Kid President, Values.com, HooplaHa.com, Action for Happiness, and definitely these guys:

Many people may be tired of this and all its variations, but I'm not because it's just...well...happy:

And if you prefer something old school:



*"Say to yourself in the morning: I shall meet people who are interfering, ungracious, insolent, full of guile, deceitful and antisocial; they have all become like that because they have no understanding of good and evil. But I who have contemplated the essential beauty of good and the essential ugliness of evil...cannot be be harmed by any one of them."

**"You are the light of the world....your light must shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your heavenly Father." Mt. 5:14, 16

Awkward...

Conversation in class yesterday:

Me: Remember, only address an author by his last name. We don't know him personally and aren't friends with him.
Student: So we aren't friends since we call you by your last name?
Me: No, but I still love you as a teacher should love her students. Friendship means more than that and implies an equality between a couple of people.
Student: So we aren't equal?
Me: No we are not. For starters, I'm 17 years older than you and have two degrees. But just because we aren't friends doesn't mean I wouldn't do everything in my power to make you the best you can be. I will just do it as your teacher.

Then it occurred to me that I really hurt this kid's feelings. I wasn't trying to be cruel and even stated everything as matter-of-factly as possible. However, I was being honest. Things I do for my friends: give personal advice, buy stuff for, grab a meal or movie with, discuss private matters, loan money if necessary, etc. I am not going to do any of that for a student. As a teenager, I would never have seen a teacher as a friend. They were on another plane of existence reserved for people like parents or adult members of the community. There was a distinct line between the kind of relationship I had with my friends and then with adults.

Then another student asked, "How can you love us and not be our friend?" Why is that even a question? I love my sons, but I will not be their friend. My role in their lives is "mother" which means there will be times I make decisions a "friend" wouldn't make simply because I will do what is best for them and not what they want the most. My sons, as I'm sure my students do, will most likely share things with their friends they wouldn't even dream of sharing with me. And I'm okay with that.

As for the equality issue, well, isn't it obvious I'm not equal with my students? I'm not equal with my parents either simply by the fact my mom and dad have 25 years of experience and livin' more than I have. Am I upset about that? Of course not. Technically, with regards to age, I'm not even equal to my husband. Academically? He and I are probably a lot closer. Yet, he does have experience that I will defer to if it exceeds my own. And I'm okay with that.

When society decided the best way to build confidence and self-esteem was by convincing children they were equal with anyone in a superior position, we actually caused more damage than anything else. Think about the Millennials and that sense of entitlement. If they understood the degrees of inequality that actually exist and what it takes to close those gaps, they might not demand a lifestyle and job it took others years to achieve. They definitely would show more respect to elders (for lack of a better term), and I wouldn't have to hear an impertinent teen declare, "I only show respect when I get respect!" Really kid? Good luck with that. I also wouldn't have to stare dumbfoundedly at a student when he doesn't understand why it is rude/disrespectful to ask for a bite of my lunch.

None of this is to say that I haven't had former students, who are now adults, become friends. Actually, there are a handful that I will visit with when they are in town. Even my husband is friends with some of them, but those former students understood that line that existed while they were still in high school.

Very dangerous waters are charted when a teacher decides she needs to be friends with her students.

Still, I'll probably bring donuts to class in the morning. That kid was pretty upset...