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Saturday, May 04, 2024

Too Old to Be Young, Too Young to Be Old

NOTE: This post will discuss biological processes and hormonal changes of my 43-year-old female body. If that makes you uncomfortable, skip this one and come back for my next post about my love for alt rock.

I knew one thing for certain about menopause: I would eventually hit it when I was "old." Beyond that, my references for symptoms and signs of menopause came from two things: the "End of the Curse" episode of the Golden Girls where Blanche enters menopause and struggles with what that means for her womanhood and a tearful scene from Kathy Bates in Fried Green Tomatoes.

What I learned from the Golden Girls episode:

  • Menopause happens when you are older (60+)
  • Menopause means no more cycle!
  • Menopause means hot flashes and a beard

Not from that episode but it's a GIF of Sophia who shared the bit about a beard.

The scene from Fried Green Tomatoes:


Where I learned that hormones are the magical answer and they inspire a vengeful rampage on anyone who wrongs you.

Okay, so there were clear gaps in my knowledge on menopause. How was I supposed to know?! We (society) don't talk about this kind of stuff enough. Actually, my experience has been that discussing anything to do with my reproductive organs and cycles should be done in hushed voices or accompanied by some kind of embarrassment or shame. Think about having to purchase pads or tampons. How do we make people comfortable with that? Spoiler: we don't. And why not? I bet even using the words "pads" and "tampons" instead of "feminine hygiene products" makes some people uncomfortable. There is nothing to be ashamed of. It is a part of life.

Unfortunately, approaching life in this manner meant I was caught by surprise with perimenopause. I had never heard of perimenopause...until I started feeling like I was losing my mind. I knew something was "wrong" with me but what? I would wake up soaking wet having to change my pajamas. My cycles started becoming unpredictable, and I started breaking out with acne like I was 12! I would cry over trivial matters and be annoyed with silly things like other people breathing near me. I would be working comfortably when suddenly I was so hot I knew I was about to spontaneously combust. I would be exhausted beyond the usual mom stuff. However, I couldn't sleep through the night to save my life. I couldn't remember things correctly. I started gaining weight that "eating right and exercising regularly" wasn't taking care of. I didn't feel like myself. 

I knew some of these things sounded like symptoms of menopause, but I am 43! I'm not an older (60+) woman. Thank God I have a great OBGYN who patiently listened to me as I panicked thinking something about me was broken. She explained what perimenopause meant, that I was a textbook case, and the ways we could handle the symptoms until menopause happens. Things I learned:
  • Perimenopause can start as early as age 35
  • Perimenopause is how my body is preparing itself for menopause
  • Symptoms include many of the things I was (am) experiencing: irregular periods, sleep issues, mood swings, unstoppable weight gain, cholesterol changes, and more
  • There are both hormone and non-hormone treatments for symptoms (and new research shows that hormone therapy isn't as dangerous as we once thought)
  • Perimenopause will last until menopause which is actually the stopping of my cycle (which can take up to 10 years or so - boo)
I cannot tell you the relief I felt of finding out I was not, in fact, crazy but simply entering a completely normal stage in my life. Now I know how to put what is happening to me in perspective. I have avenues of relief for the symptoms.

Why share all of this? I want us talking about this. I want our sisters and daughters and nieces and whomever to learn about this. I want them comfortable with what is happening to their bodies and not feel like they are wrong or broken because no one told them things like this would happen. I would love for health care companies to invest in making the transition through perimenopause to menopause such a priority that it is okay to speak about these things openly. For once it would be great to hear/see a commercial about low estrogen and what that could mean rather than concern over a shortage of testosterone and the magic blue pill to fix it all. 

 And if people won't listen to reason, there's always...



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