As much as I love to cling to the Gen X side of my generational cusp-iness, truth be told I am a child of the 90s. That is when I was a teenager. That is when I have the clearest memories of growing up. That is when I fell in love with alternative rock.
The discontent communicated through lyrics accompanied by the energizing noise of guitars and melodic screaming gave a soundtrack to the things I felt and thought but never shared. It was amazing how such music seemed to capture all the things that made me mad that I couldn't put words especially when being angry was not an emotion I was allowed to have.* In 2000 a new band arrived with a sound that amped up everything to another level for me:
I couldn't get enough. I played that alarmingly red-ish CD all the time. Then Meteora came out and solidified their place as one of my favorite bands forever. (Seriously - beginning to end I never get tired of it. "Numb" is one of my favorite songs to this day.)
At this time, I also fell in love with a band out of Houston called Blue October which helped me connect to a lot of feelings I still struggled with. This led down a path to other alternative groups throughout the early aughts into my late 20s. Then something interesting happened: I got married and had kids. Now, that didn't mean the alt music faded away completely. The hidden track on Blue October's History for Sale was the song I danced to at my wedding with my husband. However, I wanted to be the best wife and mother I could be (hello - Enneagram One here), and that meant knowing myself better. Once I started to understand myself and why I had been so angry, I didn't need the catharsis of alt music like I had before.**
Years passed and I mostly listened to Kids Place Live (excellent station on Sirius XM - absolutely recommend if you subscribe and have small children) and talk radio (how is that for being a grown up). However, bands like Bastille entered my life while listening to Alt Nation when my kids weren't in the car or talk radio got monotonous. It seemed that I still felt that tug towards a genre that often is now more alt pop than rock but able to hit me in just the right way sending me back to the days where I blasted angsty and angry music while making the drive to and from SFASU.
Why the sudden trip down a musical memory lane? Recently, a radio station I enjoyed was canceled leaving me with the opportunity to see what else life had to offer on the ole dial. It turns out that locally 103.7 KVIL is the current alt rock station which cracks me up because I grew up on KVIL when Ron Chapman and Jody Dean were on air playing greats like Sir Elton John and Billy Joel. It was dubbed "lite rock." What a change indeed. Anyway, I put on 103.7 on my drive into work the other day and was met with artists like Linkin Park, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Foo Fighters, The Offspring, and other bands that had defined my late 90s/early aughts life. I was in the best mood when I got to work.
Yes, I started listening to many of these bands because I didn't know how to be angry out loud. I realized after that drive into work that they are excellent reminders of how far I've come in understanding my anger and how to communicate that so I don't need the music to do it for me. I will continue to listen to this station because that music matters so much to me, and well, because it flippin' rocks.
*Mostly this with all of society.
** Also this which is from 2018 but still relevant which is even more infuriating.
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