The Battle at Home

In case you didn't know, the district where I teach has made national news because of the strict dress code that would not allow a four-year-old attend class until his parents cut his hair.

For starters: that's what is making the news?! Really? Out of all the things the public school system in the State of Texas lacks that filters down to individual school districts, this is what people focus on? When's the last time a parent even inquired about the curriculum taught or the classroom management practices of particular teachers? How about the fact that before a child will take the actual minimum basic skills exam for the state, they will have already taken 3-4 practice minimum basic skills exams? What about all the valuable class time lost for all that testing? What novels do students read in a given year? What kind of math and science are they learning that will apply later in life? Can students identify North America on a map (seriously, when I asked some students what countries made up North America they said Brazil, Europe, and Texas)?

Just let all that sink in and then look at the stink this whole dress code situation has made. Before anyone tries to give me the "self-expression versus better discipline" crap, understand that this should never have been about the dress code. This is about following rules. The parents knew about the dress code BEFORE enrolling their son into Mesquite Independent School District (MISD). They weren't tricked or had any rules changed after he started. This means they also knew that consequences would ensue should their son not follow the rules. If they had a problem with the dress code, then they needed to find a different pre-K program for their child.

Do I think long hair impedes learning? Of course not. I can teach a kid with a mohawk just as well as one who is bald. I teach gifted kids for crying out loud. If anyone suffers from loss of self expression through clothing and hair styles, they definitely do. But they manage because they understand that life can be full of stupid and arbitrary rules. Many jobs have dress codes and employees are expected to follow them. A person can get a speeding ticket for doing 67 in a 65 mph zone.  Some places of business don't allow patrons in without shoes. To return merchandise most of the time a receipt is needed, even if you are an honest person who wouldn't lie about where the item was bought. It doesn't matter. Rules exists and to function in our society, one has to follow them.

That's the kind of discipline this issue is about. It is not about that kid's hair distracting from learning (although some would argue that to be the case). Can the kid follow a rule? Well, his parents are teaching him he doesn't have to.

Some people might say that challenging the rule is the parents' right. Okay, excellent point; however, they are not challenging it appropriately. Creating a media circus will not help them get their way. A friend of mine who studied education law mentioned that there have been tons of cases where parents go up against a district's dress code, and it usually ends with the parents being told that districts are allowed to have dress codes and they must be followed. If these parents want to affect change, they need to learn the system for proposing that change and getting the community involved. After all, it is the people of the Mesquite community that voted on the current dress code. (I know because my parents voted even though my sister and I had already graduated and moved on with our lives.) Instead of just attending the one school board meeting to make a scene, start getting involved in the district. Learn about how the system works and how to change it. Find out why the current rules exist and then take a logical and well supported approach to reach out to the community and encourage them to vote for the change.

My second biggest issue with all of this is the morons who keep commenting on the news stories and have zero stock in this situation. They don't have kids in the district, heck, they don't even live in the district. Both ends of the spectrum are included here: the way laid back lefties and uber-conservative righties. Both ends dwell on the "self-expression versus better discipline" argument when, as I've already mentioned, that should not even be the topic up for discussion. Unless a person is being directly affected by all of this, s/he needs to shut up and stay out of it. It is really irritating because I know that many teachers in the district have strong feelings about it (the ones who actually know what dress code does and does not do in the classroom), but nobody has bothered to ask us what we think. So the news and the district would rather listen to a bunch of randoms over actual Mesquite employees.

All of this I could have dealt with, and actually was starting to let go of whenever someone mentioned this issue. Then I saw a post my husband made on the news site about all of this. In his snarky and smart alack tone, he posed the perfunctory question of what research shows that discipline and learning is directly linked to the length of a kid's hair. (Good one babe, that argument has never been made before.)

Here's why I fell completely apart (and not just because he equated MISD to Nazi Germany like some other jackass in one of the news articles):

If my own husband does not support the district (who signs my paychecks), he cannot possibly take what I do seriously. All the years I come home and vent about the actual injustices of the public education system, he decides to jump on this insane band wagon. He is going to become part of the system trying to further destroy what I do. (I deal with a lot as a public school teacher, and if you also teach in public school in Texas you know what I mean.) Now I know that if someone else brings all this up in conversation, my husband won't say something like: "Yeah, Lydia is really frustrated because there are a lot of other issues she wishes they would address." or "Lydia is ready for all this to be done because she is just as frustrated with the dress code but knows she has to keep doing her job." or "Every district has it ridiculous quirks, but my wife does well there and the kids love her." No, he will probably continue to tear down Mesquite and once again I'll be left alone to defend what I do and why I do it.

For the record, the parents agreed to put the kid's hair in braids so he could attend class, and I will post something a little less intense before I go to bed.