Every Prom Needs a Little Duk Dong

There is an adorable teen film called Prom. It has most of what you expect: sort of nerds, cool kids, a bad boy, a superstar academic, love triangles, opposite attractions, etc. And every time it comes on cable I MUST watch it. My husband simply rolls his eyes and shakes his head at my inability to turn away from such a ridiculous film. It took me a while to figure out why it was the bug zapping light to my hopeless flying insect of a psyche. Then one day it hit me...

IT'S ALMOST A PERFECT JOHN HUGHES MOVIE!

Note that I said "almost." It teases by dipping its toe in that genre of cinematic gold. Take a peek at this cute promo that came out during the apparent countdown they had before the film's release.

Potential right? All the necessary characters are there and had I seen this before I saw the actual film a lot of plot holes would be non-existent.  The problem is that even though this film does its best to fulfill all necessary archetypes for a teen flick, it doesn't offer any realistic commentary of teenagers today. Nor does it offend me in a comical way while still managing to comment on some societal mindset.

The reason I have ALWAYS loved teen films of the 80s is because that is exactly what they did. Teenagers were teenagers. Partying. Bullying. Studying. Dating. Loving. Hating. Judging. And they managed to do all of this and still get in a few laughs. I mean, where would Sixteen Candles be without this guy:





How hilarious are these? I guess teenage boys are looking to score regardless of country of origin. Plus, the grandparents are proudly (and maybe cluelessly) exploiting Dong's academic trip to America. I love it! Prom really does try. There are so many nods to some of Hughes' greats such as a running scene through the high school, rendezvous in a parking lot, a lecherous/unfaithful boyfriend with the insecure girlfriend who needs to become her own person, even the bad boy falling for the good girl:

 

Unfortunately, nothing in the film measures up to this:



I so desperately want Prom to be Sixteen Candles or The Breakfast Club! The real problem is that Disney has its name all over the film so it has to stay clean and too sugary sweet to meet its true destiny of becoming a memorable movie that defines a generation. Perhaps that is why I watch Prom every time it comes on. Surely just once it will reach Hughes Greatness! Just once instead of this:
I'll get this: