3 Decades and Counting

I turned 30 this year. I'm incredibly proud of this fact. This means I've survived 3 decades of life! Every year is one more gift from God to see what I can make of it. It seems sort of dignified to say I'm 30. I'm officially a grown-up. All those years as a child deciding what my life would be like, and here I am. Now I didn't become a famous movie star (or have a famous movie star fall in love with me-that was the much more common fantasy), and I have yet to pen the next great American novel, but I have a career where I actually make a difference. I have friends that make me laugh. I have a child who loves me. I have a roof over my head. I have a crazy family that I could never do without. It seems to me that things are going pretty well. Perhaps that's why I've always loathed the term, "those were the best years of my life" when referring to high school or college. Shouldn't every year be the best year of your life? You exist! That's a pretty good start. I also become very frustrated with people who want to live in the past by behaving inappropriately for their ages. What's so terrible about your life right now that you constantly remark on/act out ways to escape it? (No wonder society seems to be crashing and burning! So many people want to remain adolescent. Why? I already quake at the thought of some of my teenage students running the world some day.)

After 30 years, I like who I am. I hated me in high school. Started to like me in college, and finally decided to embrace fabulous me in my mid-20's when I realized I could like the color pink, sparkly things, flowers, dresses, make-up, jewelry and still be a pretty assertive gal. It's all about my confidence in the end, and even though I'm not quite as bold as I'd like to be someday, I think I'm getting there.

I also insist on seeing the good in people. I truly believe there is good in everybody. Someone would really have to be a pretty big slime to convince me s/he doesn't contain a descent core. The downside to being so sickeningly optimistic about humankind is that when I'm proven otherwise it's a really hard blow. Fortunately, I am not proven wrong very often. Besides finding the good in everyone also allows me to love with my whole heart (the only way to love in my mind). I believe these are the things people like about me who choose to be around me. I enjoy knowing that God is using me to be a beacon of light, love, and hope.

It's with this mindset that I embark on 2011. I'm going to make year 31 count just like the previous 30. I'm going to stand strong in my convictions. I'm not going to agree with something that goes against my beliefs because "it's more common than you think." That's the ridiculous adult equivalent to "everyone's doing it." I'm also not going to allow anyone to care for me with any less zest or fervor than I show him/her or deserve. People who cannot love me for who I am with their whole hearts don't need to be in my life. I give a lot as a friend and am worth a lot as a person. I will continue to learn about my faith and relationship with God. I will continue to give 100% in my life (of course I'll distribute it amongst the different facets accordingly because I've tried the 100% to each facet of my life and that nearly killed me). I am determined.

"When, in the early morning, you are reluctant to get up, have this thought in mind: 'I rise to do a man's work. Am I still resentful as I go to do the task for which I was born and for the sake of which I was brought into the world? Was I made to warm myself under the blankets?'...You do not love yourself. If you did, you would certainly love your own nature and its purpose....Display then those virtues which are entirely within your power: sincerity, dignity, endurance of pain, indifference to pleasure, contentment, self-sufficiency, kindliness, freedom, simplicity, common sense, and magnanimity." -Marcus Aurelius

An Elmo Adventure (a.k.a The Reason I'm on BP meds)

Exactly one year ago I purchased a stuffed "Classic Collectible Grover" by Fisher Price for Will for Christmas. I was determined that my child would not only love Sesame Street (and all things Jim Henson), but he would also adore Grover. Much to my dismay, the Muppet Monster that has stolen my child's heart is not the intended "Broba" but rather "Melmo" (Elmo for those who don't speak 20 month old.)

As previously stated in another post, I wasn't a huge fan of Elmo (he's sort of grown on me). Something about him always kind of rubbed me the wrong way. Then of course there was that ridiculous "Tickle Me Elmo" crazy of the mid-90s (it seems so long ago doesn't it?). Therefore, I had promised myself not to allow my son's excitement over Elmo dominate my Christmas shopping this year. Naturally that means I got him two Elmo books, an Elmo movie, an Elmo plate/bowl/fork/spoon set, an Elmo toothbrush/toothpaste set, and planned on getting him the Elmo version of the Grover stuffed toy. Note that I used "planned" in that sentence.

See, a few months ago I contemplated getting the "Classic Collectible Elmo" during a routine stop at Babies R Us. However, I was still in denial about my child's preference of red monsters to blue ones. I passed and figured I could always get it later. I even told my mom not to get it when she saw it because, if he was going to get one, I wanted to be the one to see my son's face light up when handed his very own "Melmo". Well "later" occurred to me a week or so ago since Christmas is now seven days away. Surely, I reasoned with myself, no one wants the plain-ole-don't-do-anything-Elmo so there will be plenty to choose from.

That poor logic sent me on an Elmo hunt earlier this evening. Of course I started at Babies R Us since that is where I knew they had them before. It was great because there were maybe a total of 10 people in the whole store so no Christmas crowds. There was Grover and Cookie Monster and Ernie but no Elmo. Wait, let me rephrase: There was no "Classic Collectible Elmo." If I had wanted my Elmo to play the guitar, they had him. If I had wanted my Elmo to do the hokey-pokey, they had him. If I had wanted my Elmo to chatter, they had him. And of course if I had wanted my Elmo to tickle himself into oblivion, they had him. I believe they even sold just Elmo hands (no really-gloves that your kid wears that make his hands look like furry, red monster hands-my husband assures me that emo kids buy them to wear to raves). After a very nice employee looked in the back and double checked the stock, he shared the sad news that they were out. The light at the end of the tunnel was that the Toys R Us down the street appeared to have some.

Now I had to really consider my option here. It is one week before Christmas, and the Toys R Us I would be going to is so filthy and run down it actually gives me the creeps (this is really sad considering it is the beloved Toys R Us of my youth). There's no question that I love my son enough to face a Christmas nightmare. The question was whether or not I wanted to face said nightmare for an Elmo toy. After a deep breath and reminder to myself how blessed I am to have a healthy, happy child; I figured giving him an Elmo was totally worth it. Then I stepped into Toys R Us.

As expected, my hands went immediately into my pockets, and I sucked in my breath. I hoped that if I made myself skinny enough I wouldn't actually have to touch anything or anyone on my way to the Elmo aisle. I even did a few pirouettes around the children running amok (why weren't they at home asleep?) and sidestepped down aisles to keep away from bumping into "things." It was a complete madhouse and the further back I went into the store the more my vision blurred and temperature rose. Both being sure signs my BP was shooting up. Then there it was: an aisle with an ungodly amount of "Tickle Me Elmos." Clearly, there's no shortage this year. Unfortunately, there was no "Classic Collectible Elmos" either. I grabbed an Ernie (so I could point to the picture of what I wanted on the back of the box-I didn't want to leave anything to chance) and decided to find someone who worked there to see if they had any in the back or at another store. Silly me.

It ended with me deciding that all employees during the Christmas season should be required to wear light-up hats that say "I work here" and have arrows pointing down to the wearer's head. My acute case of claustrophobia also kicked in the closer I got to the exit as the lines formed one big blob of people. I prayed to God to make sure I got back out of the store without having a stroke. If He could help make that happen, I would head straight home.

What about Elmo? Well, I gave up on the "Classic Collectible" version since it seems no store within a 40 mile radius of my house sells them. I did find on Amazon a company named Gund who apparently makes them as well. I order both an Elmo and an Abby Cadaby (my husband's not thrilled at the thought of my son getting an Abby but Will likes her too and if I bought both I got free shipping). Since I'm the one who screwed this all up in the first place, I did go with the free shipping at my husband's request (instead of the pricey one day) even though the earliest they would get here is the 23rd of December.

I shudder to think what Christmas shopping will be like when my child is actually old enough to make requests.